Cauz: Coming soon to a stadium near you…
I have always been that person who arrives to the movies on time because I do not want to miss the previews. I understand the side that says they give away too much of the upcoming film but for me, if I miss the previews the entire moviegoing experience has been ruined.
It’s hard not to look ahead to OK Tire Labour Day Weekend after a Week 12 slate of games that saw three of the four contests decided by one score. After re-watching the games there were four performances from this past week that stood out for me that could have an impact on Labour Day Monday. Let’s think of them as individual previews to what we can expect on that glorious (sorry returning students) holiday Monday. I have channeled the old school movie preview guys voice for each section, this bit will either be funny or will fall flat on its face. Here’s hoping for the first option and apologies if it ends up being the latter.
OK TIRE LABOUR DAY WEEKEND
» Landry: Ready for the magic of Labour Day Weekend
» Top Labour Day Weekend games since 2000
» Steinberg’s MMQB: 5 things to watch during Labour Day Weekend
Tim White is a receiver hellbent on redemption in the upcoming Labour Day production that’s airing at Tim Hortons Field (Thomas Skrlj/CFL.ca)
Preview #1: Tim White: Back for justice
Think of it as: A gritty 1980s cop thriller where the hero is out for revenge
Receiver Tim White was living the high life. The second year Tiger-Cat had been honoured one week earlier for his 11-catch, 145-yard, two-touchdown day against the Alouette gang of Montreal. He was hitting his career high until tragedy struck one week later in Toronto.
Maybe it was the sounds of the CNE or the smells of deep-fried coffee but whatever it was, for a split-second, White took his eyes off the prize and his entire world came crashing down. There he was, wide-open in the end zone when his partner, Matt Shiltz, fired a pass for a sure touchdown that would have given Hamilton a 23-13 lead with less than nine minutes remaining in the third quarter.
Instead, the ball went through his hands, giving life to the Tabbies’ No. 1 target on their Most Wanted List, the Argonauts. Making matters worse, his young partner, Shiltz injured his wrist soon after and was not seen again on that warm summer night.
Now White is out for revenge and he will have to use all his receiving skills (eight catches, 105 yards vs. Toronto) and return skills (80 return yards) to help even the score against their highway rival. A win on Monday and Hamilton is back in the Eastern race but a loss means the boys will be busted down to handing out parking tickets and fighting off the REDBLACKS for last in the East. For White this job is a labour of love, and all that emotion will be on this field this Labour Day!
Kenny Lawler’s heroics are an easy leap to an installment in a super hero blockbuster (Thomas Skrlj/CFL.ca)
Preview #2: Kenny Lawler: Mr. Impossible
Think of it as: Your classic Marvel movie
He is more myth than man. While mere mortals must abide by the laws of gravity and science there is one man who makes the impossible look routine. Kenny Lawler is Mr. Impossible. After basking in the light of Winnipeg, Lawler is now hiding in plain sight on a rebuilding team with a young quarterback and zero home wins.
No matter how much the odds are stacked against Edmonton, one man is there to fight the good fight. Early against the nation’s capital, Lawler uses his powers of levitation to turn an overthrown pass into a highlight catch. Somehow, he corrals the ball as he takes flight then, while airborne, secures his prize and keeps it from touching the ground, rendering the broadcasters stupefied.
Later, he mysteriously transforms himself into an NBA power forward as he boxes out safety Alonzo Addae for a 50-yard jump ball. His hat trick of triumph concludes in the third quarter as Mr. Impossible hits the turbo boost to blaze past his frustrated nemesis Addae en route to a 42-yard body twisting, crazy body control catch.
No matter where the ball is located, the 2021 CFL All-Star will be there. Overthrown, underthrown, on target and everything in between, Kenny will be there. This Monday, Mr. Impossible goes up against the Calgary Stampeders and he will face his toughest task since the Grey Cup. Can Kenny make the impossible…possible? Let’s see what tricks he has up his sleeve!
The Argonauts’ defence is a superhuman force of nature that has set its sights on the city of Hamilton, intent on wiping out the Tiger-Cats (Kevin Sousa/CFL.ca)
Preview #3: The Toronto Argonauts’ defence
Think of it as: A natural disaster movie
In the year 2022, the prophets foretold of a climatic event that would have a cataclysmic impact in the land of steel. Will Hamilton be able to withstand the natural disaster that is roaring down the QEW and heading to Tim Hortons Field?
One week earlier we saw quarterback Dane Evans lost in the fog, throwing three interceptions into the human hurricane known as Jamal Peters. The quarterback that led Hamilton past Toronto in last year’s Eastern Final was overwhelmed by a sea of Argonaut defenders who, like the angry ocean, kept crashing into the shores of the beleaguered Tiger-Cats’ offensive line, finishing the day with four sacks, six turnovers and wiping out any semblance of a running game.
Coach Orlondo Steinauer and offensive coordinator Tommy Condell have nine days to devise a plan to cool off the magma hot Argo pass rush, all the while re-building the confidence of their quarterback. It is a life and death struggle for coach and coordinator, who know if they can’t slow down this onslaught of linemen there may be no tomorrow for the endangered species known as the Tiger-Cat.
In Calgary, the wisdom of the coaching staff is being tested to see if the ray of light that Jake Maier has provided could in fact be a supernova (Kevin Sousa/CFL.ca)
Preview #4: Jake Maier: The Young Rising Star!
Think of it as: Medieval thriller, King Arthur meets Game of Thrones; with less nudity and murder
In a world that has been flipped upside down, one man has arrived to bring order back to the prairies.
For years, the city of Calgary was protected by a man with three names, two Grey Cups and one future invitation to the Hall of Fame…Bo Levi Mitchell. But now the golden armed one is on the sidelines and darkness approaches the land of Hufnagel.
But suddenly a ray of sunshine has burst through the skies from a man who dominated the Big Sky Conference and just like that, young Jake Maier is bringing brighter prospects to town. Despite his 150 point efficiency rating against the mighty Blue Bombers of Winnipeg, Maier was unable to slay the dragon. But his performance on that dramatic Thursday night hath transformed skeptics into believers.
He challenged the Winnipeg defence deep, escaped the grasp of a marauding Casey Sayles and used his vision to nullify the coverage skills of the winged one known as Winston Rose. With the help of his trusted companion Malik Henry, Jake Maier will not only challenge the wounded Elks of Edmonton but will force the Calgary coaching staff to choose between their glorious past (Mitchell) or a possible bright future (Maier). Who will be given the starters role? Find out this Monday in Calgary!
