Kevin Sousa/CFL.ca
The New Year. It’s a time of ending and a time of renewal. Or, as Ross Geller once said in that couch-moving episode of Friends: “pivot!”
Some relationships get fortified, sealed once again with a big ol’ smooch at midnight. Some relationships come to an end, early in the new year, with one or both parties looking for a fresh start, a change in trajectory and new adventures ahead, releasing each other with respect and admiration and dignity, knowing it is for the best. Also maybe they just don’t want to spend Valentine’s Day together, so, off you go, then.
New Year’s is also, of course, a time for making resolutions, some earnest and attainable, some farcical and clearly unreachable.
With all that in mind, here are some thoughts on each CFL team as the presently blank pages of 2023 stare us in the face.
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MONTREAL ALOUETTES
Resolution I’m kidding about: To move the people with those little pump air horns away from TSN’s crowd ambience microphone positions.
Resolution I’m serious about: To commit to a terrifying ground game with William Stanback, Walter Fletcher and Jeshrun Antwi rotating in for freshness. And to move the people with those little pump air horns away from TSN’s crowd ambience microphone positions.
Ring in the New Year with champagne and an early deal for: Eugene Lewis.
Don’t even think about breaking up with: Tyrice Beverette.
OTTAWA REDBLACKS
I’m kidding: To mic up Jaelon Acklin every moment of every day, on the field, at practice, at home, at the grocery store. Wherever. And make a weekly, 30-minute show out of it.
I’m serious: To let Khari Jones’ imagination run wild with exotic, imaginative, surprising offensive schemes.
Ring in the New Year with champagne and an early deal for: Lorenzo Mauldin IV
Don’t you dare break up with: Avery Williams.
TORONTO ARGONAUTS
I’m kidding: To leave the Calgary Stampeders’ free agents alone. This is a tough one. Like saying “I’m gonna eat healthier this year.” Most of us end up blowing that one with a breakfast sandwich and a donut before the first bowl games of the year are finished.
I’m serious: To get McBeth back for a victory lap and quarterback transition year.
Ring in the New Year with champagne and an early deal for: Kurleigh Gittens Jr.
Don’t you dare break up with: A.J. Ouellette.
HAMILTON TICATS
I’m kidding: To put a deal for Bo Levi Mitchell over the top by offering him Bob Young’s parking space.
I’m serious: To re-sign Tim White and then think warm thoughts about he and Bralon Addison wreaking havoc with crossing routes galore.
Ring in the New Year with champagne and an early deal for: Jovan Santos-Knox.
Don’t you dare break up with: Sean Thomas-Erlington.
A great way to ring in the New Year? How about a new deal for local receiver Nic Demski? (Matt Smith/CFL.ca)
WINNIPEG BLUE BOMBERS
I’m kidding: To not to grind their teeth daily right up until they meet the Toronto Argonauts on Sept. 29.
I’m serious: To check in and see what’s up with Lirim Hajrullahu.
Ring in the New Year with champagne and an early deal for: Nic Demski.
Don’t you dare break up with: Rasheed Bailey.
A Riders’ offensive solution? All Jamal Morrow, all the time. Sure, it could become predictable, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be fun (Thomas Skrlj/CFL.ca)
SASKATCHEWAN ROUGHRIDERS
I’m kidding: To give 40 touches a game to Jamal Morrow. Jamal Morrow left, Jamal Morrow right. Jamal Morrow middle. Jamal Morrow out in the flat, Jamal Morrow on a wheel route, Jamal Morrow option pass…
I’m serious: To shore up that offensive line in free agency and in the draft. Also, wondering how much I’m kidding about that Jamal Morrow thing.
Ring in the New Year with champagne and an early deal for: Darnell Sankey.
Don’t you dare break up with: Larry Dean.
Tommy Stevens thrived as the Stamps’ short (and sometimes long) yardage QB. Is there some tight end work in his future? (Stampeders.com)
CALGARY STAMPEDERS
I’m kidding: To trot out Tommy Stevens as a tight end.
I’m serious: To go ‘full Pringle’ with Ka’Deem Carey. Two hundred rushes, at least. Maybe even 250.
Ring in the New Year with champagne and an early deal for: Cameron Judge.
Don’t you dare break up with: Shawn Lemon.
With his athleticism oozing out of every play he makes on the field, are there limits to what Tre Ford could do? (The Canadian Press)
EDMONTON ELKS
I’m kidding: To play Tre Ford at quarterback, running back, slotback, wide receiver, corner, halfback and free safety. And SAM. And, yeah, rush end. It doesn’t all have to be in the same game but that would be nice.
I’m serious: To build that offence on a poured concrete foundation of Kevin Brown touches.
Ring in the New Year with champagne and an early deal for: Jake Ceresna.
Don’t you dare break up with: Ante Milanovic-Litre.
Undefeated in stadium entrances too 😤@Luck2fastt 🤣✌🏽🚲#RoarLikeNeverBefore pic.twitter.com/EUiCaR8y4p
— BC LIONS (@BCLions) July 9, 2022
BC LIONS
I’m kidding: To have Lucky Whitehead make just one game day entrance riding a llama. Also, to have Rick Campbell show up at Nathan Rourke’s place on New Year’s Eve, last moment, the way Billy Crystal did in ‘When Harry Met Sally,’ and tell him that he wants the rest of his life to start as soon as possible.
I’m serious: I’m actually not kidding. Llama.
Ring in the New Year with champagne and an early deal for: James Butler.
Don’t you dare break up with: T.J. Lee.
Happy New Year, all. Pivot!
