By Josh Bell-Webster,
CFL.ca
I missed last year’s Grey Cup in Vancouver, arguably the greatest one of all-time. And I don’t have any regrets.
Some may think I’m nuts, but I have good reason to feel this way.
My story actually begins three-and-a-half years earlier, when my wife Nicole gave birth to a healthy baby boy named Jonah William. The pregnancy went smoothly, except for my wife’s high protein levels. She did have an overnight hospital stay as doctors ran some tests, but they couldn’t figure out what the problem was. Our paediatrician decided to induce labour at 38 weeks just to be on the safe side, and at 10:40 p.m. on April 6, 2002, we were parents for the first time.
Things were alright for three months, until my wife began to get very tired. Her body ached; she had no stamina and she lost her appetite. When they ran blood tests, her haemoglobin was non-existent. Overnight, a woman in her 20s seemed to transform into a frail 94-year old.
It turned out that Nicole had lupus, an autoimmune disease which, in layman’s terms, attacks healthy cells. Approximately 15,000 to 50,000 people and Canada have lupus, with women of child-bearing age the most likely to get this illness.
Nicole’s rheumatologist was able to give her a laundry list of medication to help control the problem, but since her kidneys suffered a lot of damage because of her lupus flare, the likelihood of us having another child was minimal.
Nearly three years into this ordeal, a drug was found that helped repair her kidneys. And we were given the green light to start trying for a second child.
Shortly after, Nicole informed me that she was pregnant. But with this second go around, things were very different. She was having severe swelling compared to before. Her protein levels were up yet again, going well beyond her first pregnancy. Finally, in her fifth month we decided it was not a good idea for her to work anymore — as a labour and delivery nurse, those 12 hour shifts are hard enough on a healthy person.
Bed rest was the order of the day, but Nicole was told to watch for high blood pressure. That we did, until the early morning of October 22 when we received a huge scare.
I had been planning to go to a football game in Hamilton, but because I wasn’t feeling up to driving a long distance, I decided to watch the game on television. I went to bed around 1 a.m., said goodnight to my wife, and that was that.
Thirty minutes later, my wife awoke in sheer agony. In a panic she told me to check her blood pressure. It was extremely high (170 over 110 if I recall). She said we had to rush to the hospital.
After awakening my brother and sister-in-law to come take care of Jonah, we went off speeding down the highway. Nicole was 27 weeks pregnant — not the best time to have to give birth.
Luckily, that didn’t happen. Once at the hospital, her blood pressure came down. Her doctor said she needed to remain there for the remainder of the pregnancy so they could monitor the situation. I was somewhat relieved since at least someone would be keeping an eye on her.
I am fortunate I have a job where I don’t have to be locked down in an office. My boss Brent Scrimshaw, former Chief Marketing Officer of the CFL, was extremely understanding of the ordeal, allowing me to work from home while caring for my son and allowing us to visit Nicole every day. She told me that was the worst part of her hospital stay — being away for such a long period from Jonah.
Six days later, following a visit with his mommy, I was giving Jonah his dinner and keeping an eye on another CFL game when I got a phone call from my wife in another panic. Her blood pressure was sky high again, and there was a real chance that they would have to induce this time. They were looking to transfer Nicole to a hospital with a Level 3 neonatal intensive care unit (NICU), with the closest one with an open bed in Buffalo, New York.
While Brian Diesbourg was kicking a 50-yard field goal to win a million dollars, I was once again speeding down the highway wondering what was about to transpire. Luckily Nicole’s blood pressure levelled off once again, and she was transferred the following morning to a different hospital in downtown Toronto with a Level 3 NICU.
The issue Nicole now faced was pain. Her damaged kidneys were causing major swelling in her legs and mid-section. Comparing it to the first pregnancy, we guessed that she gained 60 pounds in water alone. It was very discomforting and difficult for her to move around.
About three-and-a-half weeks after first rushing Nicole to the hospital, her body had had enough. Her blood pressure was continually rising, to the point where doctors feared she may develop preeclampsia, a different disease that occurs in five to 10 percent of all pregnancies.
When Nicole started showing signs of this, it was time to induce. With her mother and myself at her side at 3:08 a.m. on November 15, little Jake Basil was born at an even three pounds. But unlike Jonah’s birth, there was only time for a quick glance at Jake as he was rushed into the NICU.
So began the next phase of our journey. My wife was out of hospital four days later, much worse for wear. As for Jake, he would spend his first six weeks in the hospital, first in Toronto, then in our hometown of Barrie, Ontario.
Jake was so small, the back of his skull was the same size as a baseball. In order to feed the little guy, they had to stick a tube up through his nose and into his stomach. He was attached to intravenous, changing from limb to limb every two days. It was hard to believe nurses could find a vein large enough to stick an IV into the little guy.
All around Jake were other babies born way too early. A lot were really sick. At least Jake was healthy to start, which put him in a much better position. All he needed was time.
As the weeks went on, Jake got bigger. He was eventually taught to feed from a bottle. He slept a lot, which was great, as it meant he was growing. We visited him everyday, although it wasn’t nearly enough time to spend with your newborn son.
Finally, a couple of days before Christmas, we were told that Jake could go home, marking the end of a journey that has made my family stronger. Not that we would wish it on anyone.
The greatest attribute of Jake is that he is the happiest person I know. He always flashes that big grin, and he even seems to be smiling even when he is upset. Perhaps he knows that he had a tough start to life, and that he doesn’t take any day for granted. He is a role model for us all.
Today, Jake is celebrating his first birthday. He is now 19 pounds, and will be crawling any day now. He has a big brother who loves him to death, and parents that are grateful to have two healthy, wonderful children.
As for Nicole, her health is back to relative normal, although her lupus will need to be continually monitored. She has taken part in a number of charity events that has raised money for lupus research.
But the No. 1 thing she has done in all of her life was to give my son an extra three weeks in the womb, something that you can’t put a monetary value on.
As for me, I am in Winnipeg at this year’s Grey Cup, getting a taste of what I missed out on last year. As excited as I am to be part of a great CFL team, my heart is a little heavy since I would like to be at home to celebrate a huge milestone in my son’s life. I will do my best to mark the occasion from here, with birthday cake and all.
Happy birthday Jake! Daddy loves you to death.
Josh Bell-Webster is the online editor for CFL.ca.
