Hello, Argos’ offensive linemen. Are you having fun? Because it looks like you are, these last couple of games. It’s a whole lot better being the windshield than the bug, isn’t it?
Here are this week’s takeaways.
1. WE NEED ANOTHER WORD FOR FUMBLE
We need another word for fumble because what Sam Hurl and Jackson Jeffcoat did to Ottawa’s William Powell seemed so much more designed and evil for even the words “forced fumble.” The word “takeaway” also seems way to polite to describe Hurl’s standing up of Powell, while Jeffcoat reached in and rudely, crudely – and with great malice in mind – tore the ball out. TORE. IT. OUT. Any suggestions for new terminology? I’m thinking of using “conscious, destructive uncoupling.”
If Jackson Jeffcoat knocks on your door and offers to cut your grass, don’t take him up on the offer. Because I’m sure he’d knock again a few minutes later, and you’d see him standing on your porch with the pull-start cable in his hand as he raises his shoulders in a comical shrug and says “whoopsie!”
2. IT AIN’T OVER UNTIL… WELL, YOU KNOW
Really, truly, absolutely. When it seems like it’s over, remember Alex Green. Who? Alex Green, that’s who.
The 29-year-old running back was cut by the Ticats at the end of training camp and had resigned himself to life without pro football. The long trail had come to an end. There would be no more offers. Except that Hamilton’s starting running back – and a man who’d just recently sen his own fortunes swing upwards – C.J. Gable, got injured and the ‘Cats needed a solution. So they got Green back. And on Friday night, after just a few practices, in his first CFL game, he ran for 140 yards on 13 carries. That’s a 10.8 average right there, that’s what that is. And a reminder that there can always be another chapter.
3. YOU CAN WIN AN ENTIRE NIGHT WITH ONE SIMPLE ACT OF KINDNESS
Heck, we ALL can win. All you have to do is look at this one image from Friday night’s game in Winnipeg and I’m sure you’ll agree. Timothy Flanders flat out won Friday night and not because he darted into the end zone on a fancy-dan touchdown catch and run, complete with a spin-o-rama. But, rather, because he handed the ball to this adorable young lady and made her night. And made all of our nights because we got to see that smile.
What? What are you looking at? Can’t a guy get a little sensitive once in awhile in the takeaways? At least I didn’t use the word “adorbs.”
Which I really, really wanted to.
4. JA’GARED DAVIS CAN BE KIND OF RUDE, CAN’T HE?
He just barges in like that whenever he feels like it. Doesn’t call ahead, doesn’t give any warning. Just BOOM! “Here I am!” Three tackles for a lineman ain’t half bad, but then you add in three sacks, a forced fum- sorry, a conscious, destructive uncoupling – and a recovered fumble at a very critical moment of a tight game. Ja’Gared Davis ruled the roost in a game that was dominated by defence. Call ahead? I don’t think so. Ja’Gared Davis will show up when he bloody well pleases. And it pleases him often.
5. YOU CAN’T STOP DARVIN ADAMS NO MATTER WHAT
Just ask Winnipeg defensive back Corey Tindal. Well, you could take Adams’ entire body of work from Friday night to make the point, actually, as the veteran receiver was smooth, slippery and sensational.
Well, everybody was, I suppose, with that deluge, but no matter. But the real proof that you can’t stop Darvin Adams no matter what came in the fourth quarter, when Tindal grabbed Adams from behind and started to tackle him before the ball even reached him. He absolutely smothered Adams, locking his arms at the elbows as the two were falling. I think the official’s flag even flew before the ball arrived and yet, Adams just bent his forearms up like a forklift and snagged it. The ball, that is, not the flag. Though I would not have been surprised if he’d caught that too.
I’ve often wondered just what the opposite of “clear hearts, full eyes, can’t lose” was. Then Chris Jones said “They lined up and whipped our butt” and I knew.
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